Why?

So why the change in blog title. Well it's simple really. For pretty much all of my life, I have felt compelled to do and say the right things, and based on the way things are in my life, and events that have happened at various points, I have been asking myself why lately, and as time has gone on, I've been simply running out of reasons why. More times than I can count I have internalized my feelings, or held back on my thoughts either for the benefit of others, or I have been worried about what people may think of me.

I feel the time has come for a change. That's not to say I am going to intentionally go out of my way to be an asshole or things like that, far from it. There are a wide range of emotions that I am tired of feeling, which admittedly is my fault based on how I have conducted myself for so long.

Lately in my personal reflections, I've pondered to myself how fed up I have become with trying to be everyone's best friend. Whether it is someone who comes to me with a re-occurring issue that is self inflicted, and yet they wonder why things happen to them, or trying to do nice gestures for certain people in hopes that it will pay off later on. To clarify, that's not to imply I only do nice things when I do something, I'm happy to help someone in a bind, but repetitively going out of my way to do things for some people has gotten me absolutely nowhere, and I am tired of feeling like I've been made a fool of. Now I am not going to turn my blog into a bitch fest, I have no desire to do that, I will still happily include my thoughts on sports and on other topics, but I refuse to restrain myself any more. I accept that probably a lot of people will think this change in my personality, and in turn, my writing will be for the negative, and I suppose that is your call to make, but frankly, I can't say that I care all that much.

So I realize this whole post is pretty unorganized, I understand if it is hard to follow but sometimes when I write and have a bunch of thoughts, I will sacrifice organization so I can say what is on my mind.